Journal Entry # 1,637

Hoomans! Oh...oh shit....whew! So.....I'm sure you didn't know BUT....after our last show at the mewzik ranch the Tsar-Djent and myself decided to sojourn into the woods to see what it was like. We got lost for two weeks! We finally made it back. This things been on autopilot. The Tsar-Djent got in a fight with a wild dog. It tore half his face off which now I have to repair.... The base is a mess. Drummy is delirious. Well, he is always delirious...never mind. We almost starved to death. Fortunately, while you may not benefit from it, tree bark is very good for Cluckens and as for myself well let's just say I don’t need much. Like an Urth snake. But the thought that you may die suddenly on some strange planet in the middle of nowhere, not even in your own dimension, not even your own universe...it's terrifying. Even if we reestablish contact with the Divine and give them our location....were a dimension and half a universe away. We could be stuck here a loooooooong time. That being said the Tsar-Djent and myself have some complaints. One...the term or word "alien" Yes it's been tossed around. And because you're out here in the middle of nowhere and still think you're the only life in the universe, we let it slide. But that word is a tremendous insult anywhere you go. It is a term of utmost contempt to use towards an offworld visitor. So the next time you call us "alien," you best believe we will slap your face off. Second, why is it every time I think I see something resembling one of the Divine, I smell beef and cheese? When I figure this out, I will figure out one key to your evolution.....Thats a good thing, by the way. And lastly.....Why is everyone so impressed by the half assed "alteration" this Jenner hooman underwent? Switching genders on a species is child's play. Should have sent that thing the Dahk-Tores way. It would have mandibles, legs that could scale buildings, shoot lasers out of its eyes. So much potential and all you did was chop its junk off and put tits on, call it a girl. Good job. Guess what? Still looks like a hooman male too. Fail