Journal Entry #1,634

First off, my initial attempt at making this entry resulted in a system crash of the device I was using and a loss of data. Let me assure you it was because I'm using a hooman device. My devices never fail me....device. Secondly....We planted the seeds of subjugation in the city known as San Antonio. It will not be long before we control the entire region. I am still trying without success to reestablish contact with the Divine. Meanwhile, this Urth band idea is turning out pretty well. Seems like, if a pair of interdimensional emissaries get stranded on a strange planet, they should just play mewzik and everything will work out fine. Unless the planet doesn't have mewzik, then it might freak out the natives. Everywhere we take this Urth band, the hoomans we meet greet us with open arms and affection. They certainly like the Tsar-Djent more than me though. He drinks and laughs and socializes with the hoomans, who love him, while they all just stare at me like I'm some kind of....monster. However, considering my perception of the hooman race is still very negative, (which I make very clear), I can't really say I'm all that surprised. Still tho you can be a very loving, accepting, and tolerant race. It's just that you're usually not. Also I still think your planet has a funky smell. Like bad cheese and dog excrement. It's all the fossil fuels and fast food. What, did you think your farts were helpful to the environment? Hahaha. Silly hoomans. Tell your Urth hippies if they really want to save the ozone or whatever to stop eating beans. Or to invent a device we had on our planet called a Bunfargul Extractor. It will suck the farts right out of you, and store them in an air-tight disposable container which you can then launch into your sun, from a safe distance, at a time of your choosing. Your welcome.