Journal Entry #1,624.

The Tsar-Djent and I attempted to go out and mingle with Urth hoomans today. First I met a hooman who told me he knew where to acquire tools to enhance our mewzik...but he ended up sending us on a perilous journey to an urth gypsy woman. First we had to evade an entire army of mobilized pig soldiers. Then, we had to battle her guardian and the beast, or as you humans say, a hobo and a dog. Fortunately I vaporized them. Then the gypsy gave us temporal prophecy biscuits from a “speedy panda” that said good luck would find us at the next full moon. So now we have to observe earth lunar cycles for our fortunes to rise? I think we were...gypped? Ha. Maybe I'll splice her with a pig now. Never try to pull a fast one on a Dahk-Tore.